Ugly Cry

Blog who, Blog what....Thank god that I can blog and you did not have to see the ugly cry.

You know that horrible ugly, salty, droopy, just ick cry that you do? Some people have that for other reasons. I have it when I have not cried in a while and just need to let it all out. I would not say that I am a crier. I don't like to cry. I want to think that I am a strong woman, and that my emotions are on the inside. But I do have an ugly cry.

I knew that Dru had to work tonight, and I was going to be alone. I rented "my sisters keeper". I had read the book first, and actually have already saw the movie. But geeeezzz louise did I have my ugly cry on. Just sobs, running down my face.

That movie/book brings up so many emotions. Jodi's books do that. Why? Why me, why this, who am i, did they love me, did I love them, was my future what I thought, will it be what I want????????? Questions, and more questions.

I love to be challenged, and I love for things to be different. Struggle is a way of life.

I cried tonight watching that movie for many reasons.
1. So much has changed.
2. I have so many hopes and plans and goals. That I want to happen
3. I miss people. Family, friends, the beach, ca. no snow.
4. People think that  have it all together. Do I?
5. I need: Fun, Sun, tanlines, people who don't speak my language and a care free place for a few days.


And then the ugly cry goes away. And I am happy for everything in my life. My great.awesome.amazing.loving.caring.sexy.helpful.faithful.....and so many other words HUSBAND.
My family and friends who are so far away and yet let me know that they love me and are available and going through things themselves.

I love you all. I needed the ugly cry. Be happy you did not have to see it :)