Athlete to Housewife Transition

Back in the days of high school I used to be an athlete. Seriously I did basketball, track, soccer, and I even once was a cheerleader. I wasn't really the "cheerleader" type so that didn't work out so well. But I pole vaulted and loved it, played soccer, made the JV basketball team as a freshman.....blah blah so you now get the point.

I was in shape. I could run, and jump and play because my body was young. I probably would not have even thought twice about running a 5k.

Now most of you are probably wondering what I am bitching about-I am only 24 and my body is not old. But here's the thing.

"I used to be an athlete-now I am just a housewife-who does not even cook"......

Yes that really came out of my mouth today. While talking to a client about an upcoming 5K race that we are both running at a convention in the middle of October.

Now before you judge-this transition didn't come easy to me. I would love to still be an athlete, or work out every day for that matter. I did some "sports" in college-If you call drunken kickball a sport (I may or may not have never been allowed to play again for "bad sportsmanship" but that is another story for another day). I also rode my bike a lot in college. Seriously I loved that bike of mine. Too bad she got stolen by a bum in DT SLO.

Now I am a housewife-seriously. I work from home and consider myself a housewife. I don't have kids to take care of but I do clean regularly. I don't cook too often-but when I do I most certainly wear a cute apron.

So how does one get to this point. A point in my life that I am not so super proud of. One that I am dreading running a 5K. A race that I have not trained for one bit. I have not worked out since July 19, 2010. The day before I got my appendix out.

So here I sit. On my ass, "working" or blogging but whatever. Dreading a race. One that I ran last year without training for and finished in pretty decent time. Last year when I was only a housewife for a month before the race. A race that I didn't have 3 surgeries in 6 months before. One that I am not so sure I will be able to complete this year.

I can't walk this thing, I have too much pride for that. So if you see a 24 year old "housewife" limping around a conference in Orlando in the middle of October-you better bet that is me and stop and say hi or offer a girl some ibuprofen.


Tea cures all???

So here I sit.

With what I think is my first cold of the season, and I am SO tired.

All I really want to do is take a nap. I am having a hard time thinking straight or getting things done because I get distracted by my aching body or my snuffly nose or my need for more liquids.

This sucks. I don't have time to be sick. I don't have time to deal with this. I have a retreat to go on this weekend, fun to be had. Work to get done.

So dearest cold that has taken over my body-PLEASE GO AWAY.

Please and Thank You?

Do you notice that you get sick when the seasons change? How do I avoid this, or better yet. What do I want for dinner?

See I told you I can't think straight.


Sunday Funday-without the booze?

Who am I?

I remember when Sundays would start with mimosa's or sparks and drinking ALL day and riding bicycles was required.

Homework was done after a much needed nap-and usually hungover on a Sunday evening from a great day of slip an Slides, too much beer, or hard booze and lemonade......

Well today I am making Minestrone soup-enough to feed an army I must add, watching football minus the beer (Dru isn't even home), and planning on cleaning the house, mowing the yard and making my bed. And probably cooking a delicious dinner or snack while watching football.

Seriously. Who am I?  And why are Sundays so not as fun in the real world????



When I was a little girl I used to embrace the scars that I had. They showed that I was fearless. They represented a fun time, or an adventure that I went on.

More and more I am bothered by my new scars. I look in the mirror when I get out of the shower and am automatically drawn to the one under my bellybutton from my appendectomy. Then the 3 on my lower abdomen bother me. A lot! These scars don't show fearlessness, they show fear. They are a constant reminder along with the everyday pain that I am a little broken.

Last night I was talking with a friend about everything that has happened. And she put it into perspective for me. And in a way that I was surprised yet slightly comforted.

What if all of the things that happened this year, happened when I was in college. Would I be in the same place that I am now? What would I have missed out on.

I honestly don't think that I would have been strong enough to deal with all of this a few years ago. I wasn't in the right place. I would have had to have missed out on events, friends and the time of my life. I probably would not have been able to do many of the things we did with a constant feeling of pain.

So for that I am grateful. There is a positive-that this happened now instead of then. I wish it never happened, but I don't get that option.


Discount for sexiness?

Something embarrassing happened to me today. And I am a little upset about how it all went down.

Dru followed up on his promise to get quotes for our house being re-roofed. And that involved a company coming to our house today at 11am to "take a look".

He even reminded me this morning before he left for work that the guy would be here at 11am. I didn't put it on my calendar. I just thought that I would remember.

Well I forgot.

A doorbell at our front door prompted me to remember as I was on the phone with a client. And I immediately freaked out.

Now, I don't know what you all wear when you are at home working but I don't normally get all dressed up when I am going to see no one all day. When I am just hanging out in my office working away on my computer. A bra is not usually necessary. Small tiny tank tops are standard attire. Sweatpants or short shorts are also fine. Make-up is never used. Shit, sometimes I don't brush my teeth or hair until later in the day.

Well today I was in fine form. I took a shower last night and let my hair "air dry". I have curly hair when it is wet and it looked crazy this morning. I hadn't brushed my teeth let alone even looked in a mirror. I was not wearing a bra and I don't exactly have small breasts. A a tiny tank top was all that I was wearing on top.

I answered the door like this.

Sexy, right?

And our quote for the new project was still $7800.........................Don't I get a boobs hanging out, no makeup stay at home housewife discount?


Date Night Update-Lawn grooming

I am sad to say that we didn't have date night last night. Nor will it be happening tonight since Dru is at work until late.

But golfing did happen. He went and golfed by himself at 4pm yesterday and I continued to work until past 5.

The good news is that all of the chores that needed to get done were done, and I was a happy woman. If you have not learned this about me, or don't know it because you never lived with me. I am a little anal when it comes to mowing the lawn.

I hate it when the lawn needs to be mowed. Nothing looks better or smells better than a freshly mowed lawn. I am not against mowing the lawn myself, I actually mow quite a bit. But there is one small problem.

A boat lives on my back lawn. A boat that I have no way of moving myself with Dru is not home. And I mow the lawn when he is not home. Nothing is worse than a square of unmowed lawn when the rest is nicely groomed. I just can't leave a patch. So the whole lawn has to wait until Dru decides he can't handle my rants about the lawn and moves the boat.

Are you sensing my analness? Could you live with me? I bet not. But if you do, I will teach you to mow the lawn.

And I am seriously holding back the biggest urge to post the picture that I have of my dear friend Kristen mowing the Cuesta palace lawn in her bathing suit right now.........


Date Night

Dru and I have not been on a "date night" in a long time. So I was pretty surprised when he asked me if I wanted to go to the movies tonight for a date?

Of course! Sounds like a great idea. Too bad the two movies that I would even remotely want to see happen to fall into the genre of "romantic comedy"....Date night isn't going to happen tonight. Unless we decide on a different "date" activity.

Did I mention that we live in a pretty small town? There is only one restaurant that we usually eat at.

Update: as I am writing this-Golfing is mentioned as new date night idea....Also I need to be done at 4 for this date idea according to the husband. Can I work faster. (he thinks that I am "working" as I type this, even though I am on my lunch break.

Did I mention that I don't even like to golf. Nor do I know how to golf. And I sure as hell won't be allowed to drive the cart if I agree to this golfing idea. He's stubborn like that. I am silently disagreeing to the golfing idea as I type away and try to think of a new idea.

Couples waxing? Did I mention that Dru has been walking around in his underpants for the better part of the 2 hours that he has actually been awake. He got up at 10:30 and has been: "babysitting the kitties" (his words not mine, as I was unaware they needed a sitter), eating egg rolls in bed, and now laying on the ground with the kitties.

Did I mention that our lawn needs mowed? Our pantry needs cleaned out, our dishwasher does not work and there are dishes in the sink, his laundry is folded and ready to be put away in the spare bedroom.

Welcome to our life.


Scrambling around or a Breakfast meal?

I have been scrambling around the house to get things in order for a short business trip to Chicago tomorrow. Scrambling to get clothes that fit, and go together, yet are comfy and business enough to fit in. I can't wear sweats, a lot of my jeans are probably not considered "bus casual" since I am a little younger than a lot of the people at the conference. But I am going to make it work. Some cute sweaters and cute boots and pants and i'm ready to rock and roll.

Does not help that it is raining and I have to leave the house by 415ish to make my flight on time. I'm not so much a morning person, yet I don't want to wake the hubby up scrambling around in the morning before I leave because I forgot something in the bedroom. He gets cranky when I forget things in the room when he is sleeping. So everything is ready to go in the spare room.

I don't have things under control. There is a lot of work that needs to be done that won't get done over the next couple days because I am at a conference and can't get millions of things done at once. I'm not superwoman. Yet I wish that I was.

I am ready for the weekend that is coming. A much deserved weekend of being at home. Fixing things up for fall that has now arrived. Working at a festival that is in town for only one day and then doing not a whole lot on Sunday but getting things together and focusing on me.

I think that I like all the busy/crazyness, it lets me not focus on other things. But I am pretty cranky lately and snap at people for now reasons. Sorry if you have been on that end of the snappiness. I still love you.

Please love and Chi Town.


Today something weird happened and I don't know how I feel about it, or really how to process so I am just going to let it out.

Today I was asked if I "needed friends"...By someone who I met in the early summer and I really like (Laura-I am not sure if you read my blog, and please don't take offense, this is just how I get things off my chest)

Now I am not going to lie, but this hurt my feelings. I don't think that she meant it in a bad way. I think that she was actually kind of worried about me. I have not been feeling well at all lately. I don't hide it as good as I used to, and I look like shit. I have been losing weight not because I am working out, but because I am not really hungry. I am in constant pain, and sometimes I just lose it. I probably wear this pain on my sleeve and people can see it.

I admit that I am not as motivated to do things as I was before this disease took a hold of my life. It is hard to be all happy when you really just feel like shit. And are tired of feeling like shit.

I am also a little tired of people asking me if I have looked into "this...or that..." Now granted I know that they are trying to be helpful, but yes I am working with my Dr. for a solution, we do have a plan. But this plan also involves a lot of waiting. And while waiting-I am in pain. Simple as that. Or maybe not.

But asking me if I needed friends was a little off putting to me...It is hard for me to make plans when I don't know how I am going to feel that day. If I am going to be so wore out from working all day and not feel like getting off the couch. I wish that I had the energy to just let it go, and make an effort. But some days I just don't.

I would love to have more friends, who wouldn't? And after just moving here a year ago and working from home it is not as easy to meet people as I would like. And it is even harder when you have to put on a big front and not be all sad and my life sucks sob story when meeting new people. Because nothing is as off putting as someone with issues, am I right?

So that is my rant for the day. I am fine-I promise. Mom don't freak out. I am not depressed or anything, I am fine. I am working on a solution and have goals in mind. I just wish that Endo would have never happened to me or to anyone else for that matter. Because it just plain sucks.

I know that I can't make people understand, and most people don't. I am happy that most people don't understand, because the ones that do also deal with the horrible pain and side effects that endo has to offer. So please don't take this as a pity party. I just needed to get this off my chest.

And at that, I will leave you with some more pictures of my fabulous Anniversary weekend :)
Catching Fish-I'm sure of it...Or just an attempt to show off my behind?

This is my sexy husband, NOT catching fish like I did :)

Beautiful Lake


Best Weekend Ever!

We are back! Did you miss me? 

Hands down best weekend EVER. So relaxing and much needed time to reconnect. I have chosen a few photos to share with you my lovely blog readers. While I catch up on life.

Don't you just want to squeeze his HUGE cheeks?

Biggest Fish EVER-okay probably not but this sucker put up a fight. And it was COLD and I had not showered for a few days so ignore the sexy hair. 

No I was not drinking and driving, just posing for a photo. 

Have you ever had to tell a squirrel "NO"?!


Five Question Friday-Anniversary Edition

Since I was planning on doing an anniversary post today in celebration of our wedding anniversary that is Sunday, but could not not do Five Q. Friday It might be a little of both. Just a warning a head of time. 

1. Do you feel guilty spending money on yourself?
Really? Who else should I be spending my hard earned money on? I say it like that because we don't have kids or anything yet, so I am allowed to spend money on myself. As is any woman. I am also a firm believer that if you are not the one "making" the money then maybe you should think before you spend someone else's money on yourself. Just saying. 

2. How well do you know your neighbors?
Touchy subject round these parts :) Okay not really. BUT....We have neighbors on both sides. One side I don't think that I have said more than 2 words too. I never see them. They are friendly enough. They are never outside...blah blah. The other neighbors. We don't see as much of them as we used to, and I am okay with that. I will just leave it at that. 

3. What age are you looking forward to being?
I don't have a specific age that I think will be better than another. It is all relative to what is happening at that point in my life, and I want to enjoy them all. Except I don't think that I will love having grey hair and joints that don't work as well so "old" is not something that I am looking forward to!

4. Do you get excited when the mail comes? Why?
Heck Yes! Some would say that I am obsessive about the mail. I love getting the mail. It is the highlight of my day. My mail does not come until around 3pm each day and it is the most frustrating thing EVER. Seriously, I know that the mail is here at the post office at a very early hour. Probably even got here last night. So why do I have to be LAST on the mail route? And why does a man who cannot even walk that well, and might be pushing obese deliver my mail? Walking 8 miles a day would thin him down a bit don't you think?

5. What is your earliest childhood memory?
I have a bad memory, so nothing specific is coming to mind right now. But many of my childhood memories involve being outside with my family. We were an outside family, which I loved. In the summer time we would play in the garden at our house (I loved dirt, and catching frogs/toads), or go camping. I loved the outdoors and loved spending time with my family. I am happy I was not one of those kids that grew up playing video games indoors all the time. 

I am so excited to spend the weekend with just Dru. We will be "checking out" after I finish work today and relax all weekend at a friends lake cabin.

Anything is possible, but I do plan on catching some fish, catching some rays, and catching up with my husband. 

I'll let you decide what we are doing in this one :)

I don't think that he wanted a kiss from me. I bet that I had lipstick/gloss on :)


A year ago.......

One year ago I was in California, getting ready for the best day of my life. Preparing for the day I would become Dru's wife. The day that I had been waiting for. 

My dear husband was still in Minnesota, getting ready to fly to California. He overslept and almost missed his flight. I was awake at 3am in California, and thankfully called him to make sure he was on his way for the big day. 

These next few days are crazy busy with work, a different kind of work than last year. Finishing up client projects. Wrapping things up, preparing for the "busy" season in my work. Trade show season. Traveling. 

So I am going to share pictures. Pictures from our special day. 
Unavoidable mouth open face when applying makeup!
Early the morning of the wedding. Walking down the lane in our robes.....

Ready to get in the Limo to go to the wedding site.



Over the weekend I did not have access to the internet, my phone died and I was in the wilderness. And it felt so good. To forget, to be disconnected from everything.

It feels as if I am always connected to something. Working from home has left work at my fingertips any moment of the day. I can work whenever, but sometimes just need to shut down, turn off and disconnect.

A weekend at my friends cabin was exactly what I needed. It was perfect. I slept in the great outdoors, bundled up in my sleeping bag and sleeping pants, a sweatshirt and blanket. I didn't have Dru to keep me warm, and it was down right cold at night up north. The weather changed so dramatically in the past week and it felt nice to not be sweating all the time.

I read books, drank yummy drinks, cooked, ate, peed in the great outdoors at someone elses cabin (only to see that people were actually home when we left), caught fish, touched worms and minnows, sunned, chatted and disconnected from life.

Hoping that we will be able to disconnect together for our Anniversary on Sunday. One year of married bliss!


Holiday Five Q Friday

Friday has arrived and that means that it is time for Five Question Friday from Mama M. I am pretty excited about Friday being here and I am sure that you are too!

1. What do you do when you have time to yourself?
Time to myself usually means some sort of pampering-think pedicures, waxing, "keeping" up myself. I find that I have more and more time to myself these days now that my husband works nights. So I would prefer to not have as much "me" time and have more "us" time. I am sure that one day when I have kids these words will come back to haunt me and all I will want is time to myself. 

2. When you look out your kitchen window, what do you see?
A big backyard, with a boat. 2 squirrels and a bunny rabbit. 

3. Who/What would you want to be reincarnated as?
I think that it would be fun to be Ann Curry from the Today show. Yes, really random. But I love the Today show, and I think that I would love being a newscaster. A few years ago it would have been Katie from the Today show, but since she moved to CBS I don't see her anymore. I am not a huge CBS fan. 

4. What is your biggest pet peeve about other people's kids?
Am I allowed to answer this even if I don't have kids? I think so! I cannot stand when peoples kids are rude. When they don't say please/thank you. If I am giving them something as a gift, or just because. I deserve a thank you. Kids are just rude. 

5. Regular or Diet soda?
Diet soda.....Diet Coke to be exact. Why waste the calories on regular soda? I just don't understand how people can consume a whole meal worth of calories in a drink!

That about wraps up Five Question Friday. I hope that you have a great holiday weekend. I know that I will! Even though it does not look like I am going to get that end of summer tan that I was hoping for. It might be a sweatshirt and jeans weekend looking at the weather. But that is a good thing, less exposed skin for the bugs to bite me :)


UnPlanning Break From Blogging

I took an unplanned break in my blogging. My head has not been in the right place. I have been so tired lately and worn out from the Endo pain returning and I didn't want to turn this place into a bitch fest like I usually do when I don't feel good.

But there is good news. I went back to my new Dr. today. For the second time in 2 weeks. It is a local Dr. that I found. And if you remember I have not had great luck with Dr's so I was slightly apprehensive of what I would find. And I really like him. He is really great, spent the time to go over everything that has happened to me since this Endo hell started. He talked through things, tried to help me understand and is helping me work on a plan. A plan to not feel like shit everyday. Because that is the place that I am at again. I don't feel good. I hurt, always. And hurting all day is just plain wearing me out.

I am pretty willing to try anything that will help me feel better. Even a $50 dollar prescription for an ibuprofen like med, that DIDN'T work at all. Yes I paid a lot of money for a stupid drug, but that is what you have to do. Be willing to try. Be willing to work with the Dr. who actually really cares. He wants me to feel better. He doesn't just want to open me up again (it would be the fourth time this year) to "see" what is happening and try to fix the pain with surgery. Because it does not work. The pain has never left after surgery for me. It was never a fix. And to tell you the truth, I am slightly apprehensive of the skills that the Dr's had that operated on me. I know that they probably did their best. But I am learning that this disease does not have easy answers for me. I am one of the people who does not respond well to some of the "fixes" for endo that work for others.

So I am happy that someone is on my side. Took the time to talk to me about everything, and even relate by telling personal stories of things that he has seen since he has had other endo patients.

So that is where I have been. And I also did some other things since I last blogged.

Dru and I went to the MN state fair on Tuesday. I took some of the afternoon off so we could check out the "Great Minnesota Get Together". It was fun, we ate some of the fair food that people talk about. We walked around and checked it out. I won't say that we will go every year. I don't think that it is something I need to see each and every year. But I am happy for the experience.

And this weekend, I am going up North to a friends Cabin. We have met some pretty great people since we moved here. And one great friend invited us to their family cabin for the holiday weekend. Since Dru has to work all weekend, I am going with my friend and her husband. I am excited to relax in the sun, to go somewhere new and check out what northern MN has to offer. I will be bring a LOT of bug spray as the misquitos seem to be out in full force and trying to eat me alive when I walk outside to do anything.

I plan on taking a lot of pictures, relaxing and probably drinking way too much wine. Since that is what Lorayne and I seem to do when we get together. We like wine, a lot, probably too much. It is Labor day weekend and fall is in the air today-so i better enjoy the sun while it is still here and before the snow comes back.

Have a great Holiday weekend everyone!