Losing my Voice

I felt as if I have lost my voice for this space. Everything that I am wanting to say I just can't say here. For fear of pissing people off, for being judged because of what I think. I hate this feeling. Sometimes you just have to be able to get things off your chest. And I hate that I can't do that here. Maybe I will start a blog where it is just me. Just me, Erin....Yes I know that this is what this space is supposed to be. But there are many that read, it is a public space. And I know that. My intentions are good, but sometimes people just don't understand and then things get misconstrued. So I will have to think about it.

But for now. Here is what has happened in my life over the past week. I was kicked to my ass by the "influenza"...Yes that was a medical opinion from a Dr. And she couldn't do anything for me. Nothing....Even though I spent my whole San Diego vacation in a hotel bed, or trying not to pass out in restaurants (this portion didn't go as planned and I actually did pass out in a restaurant).

The flu is a nasty thing. Now I know why the flu shot exists. Not just for old people, but I myself will be getting one at the ripe age of 25 this year. Gezzz I feel like an old geezer saying 25. My mom thinks that I have a complex. I age myself beyond my years. But 25 is old enough for a 1/4 century crisis. I have lived for almost 25 years. My body somedays feels like it is 80 but that is a different story. I will embrace this 25th year of age. I will try to not be such an old lady, but no promises. I have acted like an old lady for a while now.

Things in this casa are good. It is still cold here in Minnesota, but you probably already knew that. If texas is getting snow, then we sure as hell still have snow on the ground here. I don't think that it is going to go anywhere for a while, and I am okay with that. As long as my husband deals with it in a timely manner. Or he WILL come home to a car parked half way up the driveway like he did the other night. I just don't have the energy or will to coax my car up the driveway when it is -2 outside and the driveway is covered in snow and ice. So there it sat. He had to figure it out. That is what men are for right? Figuring things out that women don't want to do?

Now I must go get pretty. I am volunteering at a thing tonight. Giving back to the community and eating some "wild game" and free drinks while doing so. You all know how adventurous I am when it comes to eating strange "meat"....so probably less wild game, and more drinks for this girl. But I am volunteering and that is what counts, right?

1 comment:

  1. I couldn't relate more to what you're saying about your blog. I started mine as a form of therapy, and now I feel a little suffocated by it. Maybe it's a phase?