No rest for the pregnant

This statement isn’t entirely true, but I do find it difficult to sleep when I must get up every 2 hours (almost on the dot) to pee in the middle of the night. I think that Stella is preparing me for when she arrives and needs to eat in the middle of the night. By the way, who thought it up that it was okay for babies to eat in the middle of the night? Aren’t midnight snacks discouraged once you get older? I have a feeling that she will be on her dad’s sleeping schedule, which is night owl and sleeping in. Me, I’m more of a morning person. I prefer to get up early and rested and not “waste the day”. God I sound like I am 80 years old.

Things around here have been loud at night. Not because we are party animals, but because mother nature has been showing her power in the form of Thunder storms and hail and wind during the evening hours. I can sleep through almost anything and thankfully did last night. Dru on the other hand is a worrier. He made the whole family (Stan and Molly included) pack it up on Sunday night and spend some time in the basement. I was not a happy wife. But it did get me thinking as I grabbed my laptop, purse, ipad, phone and some shoes and walked/waddled my huge body downstairs. Why did I grab what I did when the sirens were going off? Why were these particular items most important to me? What would you grab if the tornado sirens were going off at your house, do you have “non replaceable items”? I am always wearing my wedding rings so those I didn’t have to think about. And we had the whole family packed into the basement already. Stella wasn’t thrilled to be sleeping on the hard downstairs bed, nor was I. But it made me think that I am going to start needing a real plan once she arrives. What do I need to do to make sure that she is always safe. Do I need to start thinking about life insurance and all those grown up things that I don’t want to think about? GAH…

Peace

You know that feeling, that completely relaxed everything is great I feel like I’m on a vacation with no care in the world feeling?

I have it today. No I’m not on vacation, or sitting next to a pool sipping delicious beverages working on my tan reading a great book. I’m actually in my house working, with the AC turned up high running on 5 or 6 hours of sleep and 30ish weeks pregnant. But I have a calm feeling running through my veins. I feel at peace, relaxed and not anxious or nervous or scared. I can’t remember the last time that I felt this way but I must admit that it feels amazing.

I think that part of this feeling can be attributed to the fact that we got to see baby girl on ultrasound this morning. Her sweet chubby cheeks and little nose and sweet lips and long legs assured me that everything is going great and everything is going to be great. I’m good at this, I’m growing a baby girl who is growing and thriving and I feel amazing. Yes I have the normal aches and pains associated with lugging around a few extra lbs, my skin could be clearer (weirdest pregnancy symptom EVER if you ask me), and I get up to pee way too many times a night. But I have no complaints. I can’t wait until Dru and I get to meet our sweet baby girl. He is going to be the best dad ever and it was so sweet seeing him see our baby girl this morning.

So enough of my happy rainbow filled day, but this is what spoke to me this morning and I wanted to share. 

So Close - Yet So Far Away

Holy crap I’m 2/3 of the way done. Yes, I’ve entered the 3^rd trimester of pregnancy and I can hardly believe it myself.

Things have been insanely busy around here and quite frankly I can’t really decide what I want to blog about. I’m fully convinced that my blog was much more exciting when I had some wine to loosen up my typing fingers. Some of my best inspiration came from drinking wine, and since I’ve been off that bandwagon for about 27 weeks (or 24 ½ give or take a few days, I didn’t actually know I was pregnant for a few weeks, give me a break). The blog has suffered.

Hopefully sleepless nights will also bring about good blog fodder? Because the weird thing is that I don’t crave wine or booze or cigarettes (yes I did smoke on occasion before I was pregnant) AT ALL. Not saying that I will be a non-drinker once Stella comes about (or that I was an alcoholic before she was conceived) but I can’t imagine parenting with a hangover and I’ll be attempting the breastfeeding adventure and a drunk baby isn’t a good thing (so I’ve heard).

And to wrap things up and to be an over-sharer. I’ve officially gained 25 lbs in 27 weeks of pregnancy. I guess if you think about it is isn’t THAT bad, except for the fact that she (Stella) only weighs about 2 or 2.5 lbs at this point. Dru keeps on telling me that I don’t “look” pregnant anywhere other than my belly, so I am just going to keep on believing him even if he is obligated to say these things. I did have to remind him that it wasn’t JUST me who created this child so I was gifted at least one or two minor bitch sessions about how huge or gross I felt. 

Reflection

Tomorrow I will be 26 years old. I honestly have never been one of those people who had a list of things that I wanted to accomplish by a certain age, but turning another year older has really made me stop and think about the now and also the future.

So many things have changed since I turned 21. I remember thinking that 21 was going to be the best age ever. I’m not sure if I thought that because I could legally drink, or what. But 21 was going to change everything. Boy was I wrong. Don’t get me wrong, 21 was a great year. As was 22, 23, 24…I’ve watched myself grow throughout each and every year, and if I’m being honest I’ve always thought of myself as much older. I think that I am a 40 year old in a 25 (soon to be 26) year olds body. I relate and connect much better with my friends and peers who are older than me. I’ve never been much of a partier or clubber, but damn was I a great day drinker/wine taster! I’ve never been that boy crazy girl who was going out with the sole purpose of meeting the man of my dreams. But that was only because I met him when I was 15. I’ve never been more grateful to have had met the man that I married when I was so young. I have no regrets at all about this fact and I know that when we are 80 I still won’t regret getting to spend all of these wonderful glorious years with Dru. He still to this day never ceases to make me smile or laugh.

So as I turn another year older tomorrow, and later this year welcome a daughter into our lives, I reflect. Reflect about the wonderful things that this world has to offer, reflect that 2 years ago today I was having surgery to hopefully fix and correct this horrible disease that I had so I could someday have children, and reflect on how incredibly grateful I am for the wonderful friends and family that I have in my life.

So, thank you! Thank you friends and family for being there for me for the past 25 years and helping me celebrate another year. 

3 Generations of Love

I woke up this morning to my quiet little house ready for a cup of coffee and to sit down and read my morning blogs. Both of my baby kitties were upstairs still sleeping, and the house has it's familiar smell of morning and windows being closed tight. There's something about morning when it is quiet and calm that get me motivated for the day. Watching the news, planning my day, just spending time with me. I enjoy my mornings. 

Then I got to thinking. My own mom is sleeping downstairs right now. She is here visiting for a week, and I am so incredibly thankful. There are 3 generations of family here in this house right now, even though baby Stella is still in my belly. I can feel the love. I can't wait to see her and hold here, but I am also so excited to see my mom with her granddaughter. Sometimes I think that my mom might be more excited about Baby Stella than I am. It's probably my anxiety riddled excitement that makes me a bit more nervous, and my mom knows what to expect. A warm cuddly baby (who apparently needs everything that any store has to offer). I'm a little bit more of a minimalist when it comes to things. Things are sometimes just things and I will be more than happy and satisfied when she's here, cuddling and happy and healthy. I don't really care if she has things. But I've realized that if it makes others happy, i'm just going to go with the flow. 

The quiet, peaceful flow of morning and coffee and cuddly baby kitties. Todays another day, and I can't wait to live it. 

Happy Birthday Dru

Today's the day that my dear husband turns 27 years old. Thankfully he has the day off and gets to sleep in and our (Molly and Stan are an integral part in this plan) only requirement is to let him sleep in.

I've been thinking back and we've now officially spent 10 birthdays together. It makes me so happy to be able to age together and see the changes that we are both going through. After an exciting adventure to the local Babies r' us last night we went out to dinner and were out past 9pm. I stayed awake until around 11. I can't remember the last time this happened, which must mean that either I'm getting old (true story I'll be 26 in a few weeks) or we are happily complacent in our lives. I'd like to think the latter.

Top 27 Reasons I love Dru:
1. He makes me laugh
2. He is a very caring person
3. He can fix almost anything (and if he can't he will still try).
4. He will be an amazing daddy to our baby girl
5. The cats love their daddy more than life itself
6. He is an amazing cook
7. He makes me feel protected
8. He loves our family unconditionally
9. He has faith that things will always work out the way that they are meant to be (balances out my "I need/want this to happen NOW mentality).
10. He never complains and is such a hard worker
11. He honestly believes that baby girl will nap with him everyday when he gets home from work. HONESTLY in all his heart thinks that this will happen and it makes me smile.
12. He picked ME to be his wife over 10 years ago
13. His adventurous spirit is contagious
14. When we bring each other presents they are usually food and not flowers (those don't survive in this house).
15. His unique style makes me smile and cringe all at the same time. Tank Tops - need I say more?
16. He will go out of his way to make someone feel special, and never uncomfortable
17. He is the life of the party
18. He can dance (I cannot). I hope baby girl gets her daddy's dance moves
19. He can sleep/nap more than anyone I know
20. Family is important to him
21. He's the world's best Easter Bunny (even though I am 25 years old)
22. He watches the stupidest tv shows that I secretly like even though I won't admit it (I'm not telling which ones)
23. He mops and cleans the floors better than I ever will
24. He can spend hours on a boat fishing and be the happiest man in the world (which means that I can read my book in the sun)
25. He talks to baby girl in my belly and gets so excited when he can feel her kick through my belly. He lights up and it means the world to us.
26. His grey hairs that he's developing as he ages are SEXY and I can't wait until he has more :)
27. He is my husband, and I know that when he vowed to love me forever he truly meant it. I can't wait to see what the next 70 years have to offer and to grow old with him.

I love you Dru!

Working Out While Pregnant?

As I mentioned yesterday, we had a Dr. appt. While my Dr. didn't actually come out and SAY it, she did recommend that I start watching my weight. Not dieting (I'm pregnant, NO diet) but adding some more exercise to my daily life. Which I completely agree with her on. My only problem? I don't have a gym membership and unless I get an industrial sports bra, I can't see myself running anytime in the near future.

BUT...Baby girl and I are going to start to get on a daily workout routine, and we're thinking about rejoining the gym. I want to be more fit, I want to workout I just need some tips of things that I am supposed to do, and what I'm not supposed to do. Usually I would just go balls to the wall and workout as hard as I possibly can, but I'm pretty sure that is a no-no while pregnant. There is some rule about getting your heart rate too high and yada yada. I need to find a pregnant mommy workout support group or something. I'm sure that it exists, the only problem? These ladies meet during the day, like the middle of the day. Not going to work for me.

Also, I love that Dru agrees with the Dr. that working out is a good plan but he seems to be conveniently napping when I want to go for family walks. And then he complains that I walk too slow. NOT helping, and I'm not the only one in this family that needs to workout. At least I'm not paying for a gym membership that I haven't used in over 2 months...Pot calling Kettle Black if you ask me.

Sugar And Spice

The title either makes you think of baking (can you tell that I have developed a sweet tooth) or the sweet little girl that we will be welcoming to our family in September.

We had our 20 week ultrasound this morning and are beyond thrilled to be welcoming a baby girl to our family in September. She is super squirmy and not modest at all, which makes me think that I have probably gotten myself into a lot of trouble because that is me to a T. There is no question or doubt that she is all girl and we can't wait to meet her in September.

I'm sure that she will have her daddy wrapped around her little finger on first sight, and he's probably already checking out the girly fishing poles that they have available at Cabela's.

We can't wait for Grandma to come visit us next week and to get moving on decorating her nursery. Thankfully Grandma is much better at painting/decorating than I am and I'm sure that she will whip up some adorable things for baby girl. We do have a name in mind but I've decided that I probably don't want to share that on the blog/internet.

Yay for Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice!

We're Growing

Things are starting to get real around here. It's so crazy when you first are pregnant and you start to analyze every little thing. You think that you are getting a baby bump during the first few weeks, when it really is just some extra bloat and gas, and the extra food that you are eating. I've been horrible at taking photos lately but I did scrounge up some that I have been taking. I don't look good in any of them which is why I cropped my head out of most of them :) but here is our progression from January to now. I'm excited to watch pedro grow and we can't wait until we can find out what the little bugger is. April 17th can't come soon enough.

These are for those of you who don't get to see Pedro every day. Dru and I enjoy rubbing him and belly bumping because we are weird like that. And I like to blame every little thing that I crave during the day on him. Pedro has been begging for some sunshine, as has his momma and we can't wait until it is warm enough to tan. We will be taking a trip together to Miami in May and can't wait to get a little color on our skin!

Alone Time

Lately I have been spending more time alone than I normally do. This is mainly by choice and circumstance. Dru has been playing in a pool league for the past few months and this was the last weekend tournament. Usually they don't win, this time they did. Dru has been gone every night since Thursday night. I go to bed alone and I wake up alone because he gets up way too early for me and leaves for work. We don't have a lot of time to chat during the day when we are both working and I can honestly say that I miss my husband.

I don't miss him because I want him to do things for me or around the house. I miss HIM, his presence here in our little family. Stan probably misses him more than I do because he hasn't received proper Dad and Stan time in far too long. He's becoming testy about it, it's pretty funny.

The flip side of the coin is that I actually do enjoy being alone. It's not so often that women get to be alone by choice, especially when they have children. I am relishing in this me time that I get to spend. I don't have anyone relying on me for food, nurturing or love (at least outside of the womb) at the moment and that will change very soon. Reading books or going for a walk or watching the notebook on TV on a Sunday afternoon are all completely up to me at this moment and it is nice. Yes, I probably should have done more laundry, or pulled the weeds that are growing in my tulip bed. But that's neither here nor there.

But just when I think I can enjoy breakfast alone, I realize that Molly's Arms are much longer than I thought! 

Pedro has a huge...?

Things are going great here. It is very warm for it being March in Minnesota and I couldn’t be happier. There is nothing that I love more than sunshine, green grass and flowers.

We had another Dr. Appt this morning. It is crazy how fast time flies when you are pregnant (remind me of this in a few months when I am hot and miserable). Things are going great with Pedro, and we still don’t know what he/she is. I’ve completely convinced that I have a baby boy growing inside of me but I won’t know for sure until April 17^th. The anticipation is killing me but I will have to learn some patience. My Dr. is great, I didn’t get to see her last time I was there because she was delivering a baby at the time but today she was super cheerful and happy. She is so cute when she heard his heartbeat; she laughed a little and said, “Hi baby”. I loved it!

I have this weird bump thingy next to my belly button. It bothers me but I don’t know if others can see it. I asked Dr. L about it today and told her that it squishes a little when you press on it but it doesn’t hurt. She thinks that it is probably a small hernia and as long as it doesn’t hurt it is fine. It’s purely cosmetic and we can fix it after Pedro is born. Of course I hope that it doesn’t get bigger or more pronounced or I might have to resort to placing duct tape over it so you can’t tell. So if you see me in public sporting a belly with a weird little bump on it, don’t mention it, I’m pretty self conscious about it. Dru said that it is probably just Pedro growing a HUGE penis. I love that Dru makes the best of things and makes me laugh. He’s been great and I can’t wait to see him holding our baby. He practices taking naps with Stanly and I know that he will be an amazing father. I’m most worried about Stan and Molly playing nice with the new baby. We will have to teach them that they can look but not touch. And when Pedro is older, it is probably better to look at the kitties and not touch since they will outweigh him until he is at least a year old. 

What We Have Been Up To

Does anyone else REALLY want it to be summer? I am so incredibly white that I just can't stand it anymore and I usually lay in the cancer (tanning) bed at least once or twice (or 12 times) during the winter so my skin doesn't scare people. I'm from California, pale white just isn't a good color on me, or one that I am used to. For the first time in my 25 years (almost 26) I don't have any tan lines. This just seems wrong to me. But since tanning beds are on the no list when you are pregnant, even though I find it hard to believe that I would cook Pedro, I'm sticking to the rules.

I've had the pleasure of spending the past 2 Sundays with my wonderful husband, and I really like it. He usually has to work on Sunday but for the past 2 weeks we have done "family activities" together. Home Depot (2x), The Mall of America, Good Food and naps...How else should you spend a weekend?

And in other news, I have started purchasing items for baby Pedro. On Saturday I had a girls day out and found this adorable dresser at an antique store. I LOVE It.

Molly and Stan love me even more now that I am pregnant. I hope that they love their baby brother or sister just as much when they are born.

This is what I imagine will happen :-)

This is us now, they love sitting on my lap watching Sunday night TV

Stan still loves his dad just as much. And yes Dru wears tank tops ALL of the time. It's his "thing" 

Squeaky Mattress

We have squeaky springs on our bed and no it's not because we are having too much fun. I mean obviously we did have to do "it" at least once or else I wouldn't be in the situation that I am in now, but this is a family blog so we will keep it that way. 

Anyway, we have a problem. Our bed, which is fairly new has developed a squeak that is driving us both insane. It only happens when we are both in the bed and it is the most annoying thing ever. The noise completely disappears when it is just me, when Dru gets up early and I roll over for an additional hour or two of sleep. It doesn't squeak "on demand" when you jump or move a lot since we tried testing it last night. It only happens when we are sleeping and move even an inch. I can't handle it anymore, it is driving me insane and I'm ready to kick Dru out for good just so I can get a good night's sleep (in between the 2 hours or so timeframe that I have to pee each and every night). 

Solutions? Home remedies? Any words of advice are welcome! Or else Dru might find himself on an air mattress in Pedro's room for the rest of eternity. 

I've thought about adding 35 lbs (Stan (20) + Molly (15) equals 35lbs give or take) of cat to the mix to see if they even it out, but that presents its own slew of problems that include yelling kitties (Stan) who need attention and petting at 4am. 

I'm SO not ready for sleepless nights just yet - I should have another 7 months left to enjoy my 12+ hours of sleep per night. 

Sometimes you just can't win!

Irrational Fears?

I’m terrified. Yes, I’ll admit it. As long as I have wanted to be a mother I’m now so incredibly scared that I am going to suck at it.

I’m sitting here sobbing; I think that it has just now hit me that this is real. In give or take 7 months I will have another human being solely dependent on ME. I will be responsible for loving, feeding, changing, and ensuring the safety of another person. I’ll admit it; I’m not really the mothering type. When Dru gets sick, I get bitchy. I am not nurse like in any way, shape or form. I want him to get better as soon as possible because I can’t stand him when he is sick (and not because I can’t not look at him in pain, but because it’s annoying to me).

Yes, I basically just admitted that my sick husband annoys me. And when he had his wisdom teeth out last year, I left for a business trip for the weekend…Less than 24 hours after his surgery. I did leave him with a swimsuit top that worked well to keep ice packs in place on his swollen face but that’s about it. I SUCK.

I’m hoping and praying that the mothering instinct just kicks in and that I will be the worlds best mommy and know how to nurture my child. My mom was pretty kick ass at it (and she still is) so hopefully it is just passed down to me or something. And if that fails, at least I know that Dru is pretty damn good at it (if only he had boobs to breastfeed). He always takes care of me, after the many surgeries that I have had since we’ve been married I know that he will take care of me and baby better than anyone. He’s already the world’s best kitty dad EVER! Even though these cute cuddly fat cats know that mom is pregnant and lay on my belly (and bladder) every chance that they get, they still love their dad more than ever.