Pictures you see?? Well the title of this might be a little bit misrepresenting. Since I will not be posting pictures.

But it is a promise to start taking more photo’s. Soon. Promise. Getting them on this little blog? Another story entirely. But I will try. Promise.

But I am not in the mood for pictures. I don’t feel good. Story of my life for the past few months. This disease that I have is quite the fucker. Yes I said it. That is how I feel. I feel beaten down and broken. Physically and emotionally, I am spent.

I am going back to the Dr. today. Back to the dr. to hopefully figure some of this shit out. Back for some answers. And not standing down on what I think that I need. Yes I realize that I am not a dr. and I don’t have medical training. But if I tell you that ibuprofen does not make this pain go away. Then I sure am hell am not lying. I am not seeking drugs. I am not crazy. I am just DONE. IN PAIN…Maybe if I yell in all caps he will understand???

And speaking of being down and emotionally spent. Yes I cry a lot. Yes I am horrible at returning phone call’s, or emails for that matter. I am pretty sure that you don’t want to hear about my miserable life, as much as I am sick and tired of explaining my miserable life to people. If I had something good to say, something interesting and exciting. Maybe I might call you back. But since I don’t. And I am all sad and crazy. Don’t expect a phone call. Unless you want to hear blubbery bullshit.

I feel sorry for Dru. I am pretty sure that he should be at his wits end with me. I have not been a happy wife. I have not been super nice. Little things piss me off. I don’t think that this is what he signed up for last year when he married me and gave me his last name? Well “forced” me to take his last name, but we did compromise, and I don’t have a hideous middle name anymore. So that makes it okay.

But Dru. Since I know that you will probably read this when you get back from fishing. (fishing in the rain I must add)…Gezz I must be bad if you go fishing in the rain. I am sorry. I will be better soon. At some point. I will learn to deal with this. I am GOING to get better. Or at least know how to deal with this. And then I will be nice. I will work on being nicer in the near term. Promise.

So that is my rant for this Tuesday. I am sorry I am so down, and unhappy. But that’s the story of this little live in Minnesota right now. Rainy. Dreary. Unhappy me.


  1. Sending good vibes your way... I really hope the docs figure out a way to help you with your pain. I can't imagine how frustrating that must be :(

    I'm glad you got this all off your chest too - hope it helped even a little bit!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~ GOOD VIBES and an e-hug ~~~~~~~~~~~

  2. Ohhhh my heart goes out to you. Pain and disease can be so hard to deal with. I can't even imagine what you are going through. I hope that the Dr listens to you. I think you have every right to stand up for yourself medically. They may know a lot about medicine but you know the MOST about your body. Don't be afraid to call people up to vent, that's what friends are for. When they are feeling down you will be there for them. I am just so sorry. I am thinking about you and sending love your way!