Alone Time

Lately I have been spending more time alone than I normally do. This is mainly by choice and circumstance. Dru has been playing in a pool league for the past few months and this was the last weekend tournament. Usually they don't win, this time they did. Dru has been gone every night since Thursday night. I go to bed alone and I wake up alone because he gets up way too early for me and leaves for work. We don't have a lot of time to chat during the day when we are both working and I can honestly say that I miss my husband.

I don't miss him because I want him to do things for me or around the house. I miss HIM, his presence here in our little family. Stan probably misses him more than I do because he hasn't received proper Dad and Stan time in far too long. He's becoming testy about it, it's pretty funny.

The flip side of the coin is that I actually do enjoy being alone. It's not so often that women get to be alone by choice, especially when they have children. I am relishing in this me time that I get to spend. I don't have anyone relying on me for food, nurturing or love (at least outside of the womb) at the moment and that will change very soon. Reading books or going for a walk or watching the notebook on TV on a Sunday afternoon are all completely up to me at this moment and it is nice. Yes, I probably should have done more laundry, or pulled the weeds that are growing in my tulip bed. But that's neither here nor there.

But just when I think I can enjoy breakfast alone, I realize that Molly's Arms are much longer than I thought! 

Pedro has a huge...?

Things are going great here. It is very warm for it being March in Minnesota and I couldn’t be happier. There is nothing that I love more than sunshine, green grass and flowers.

We had another Dr. Appt this morning. It is crazy how fast time flies when you are pregnant (remind me of this in a few months when I am hot and miserable). Things are going great with Pedro, and we still don’t know what he/she is. I’ve completely convinced that I have a baby boy growing inside of me but I won’t know for sure until April 17^th. The anticipation is killing me but I will have to learn some patience. My Dr. is great, I didn’t get to see her last time I was there because she was delivering a baby at the time but today she was super cheerful and happy. She is so cute when she heard his heartbeat; she laughed a little and said, “Hi baby”. I loved it!

I have this weird bump thingy next to my belly button. It bothers me but I don’t know if others can see it. I asked Dr. L about it today and told her that it squishes a little when you press on it but it doesn’t hurt. She thinks that it is probably a small hernia and as long as it doesn’t hurt it is fine. It’s purely cosmetic and we can fix it after Pedro is born. Of course I hope that it doesn’t get bigger or more pronounced or I might have to resort to placing duct tape over it so you can’t tell. So if you see me in public sporting a belly with a weird little bump on it, don’t mention it, I’m pretty self conscious about it. Dru said that it is probably just Pedro growing a HUGE penis. I love that Dru makes the best of things and makes me laugh. He’s been great and I can’t wait to see him holding our baby. He practices taking naps with Stanly and I know that he will be an amazing father. I’m most worried about Stan and Molly playing nice with the new baby. We will have to teach them that they can look but not touch. And when Pedro is older, it is probably better to look at the kitties and not touch since they will outweigh him until he is at least a year old. 

What We Have Been Up To

Does anyone else REALLY want it to be summer? I am so incredibly white that I just can't stand it anymore and I usually lay in the cancer (tanning) bed at least once or twice (or 12 times) during the winter so my skin doesn't scare people. I'm from California, pale white just isn't a good color on me, or one that I am used to. For the first time in my 25 years (almost 26) I don't have any tan lines. This just seems wrong to me. But since tanning beds are on the no list when you are pregnant, even though I find it hard to believe that I would cook Pedro, I'm sticking to the rules.

I've had the pleasure of spending the past 2 Sundays with my wonderful husband, and I really like it. He usually has to work on Sunday but for the past 2 weeks we have done "family activities" together. Home Depot (2x), The Mall of America, Good Food and naps...How else should you spend a weekend?

And in other news, I have started purchasing items for baby Pedro. On Saturday I had a girls day out and found this adorable dresser at an antique store. I LOVE It.

Molly and Stan love me even more now that I am pregnant. I hope that they love their baby brother or sister just as much when they are born.

This is what I imagine will happen :-)

This is us now, they love sitting on my lap watching Sunday night TV

Stan still loves his dad just as much. And yes Dru wears tank tops ALL of the time. It's his "thing" 

Squeaky Mattress

We have squeaky springs on our bed and no it's not because we are having too much fun. I mean obviously we did have to do "it" at least once or else I wouldn't be in the situation that I am in now, but this is a family blog so we will keep it that way. 

Anyway, we have a problem. Our bed, which is fairly new has developed a squeak that is driving us both insane. It only happens when we are both in the bed and it is the most annoying thing ever. The noise completely disappears when it is just me, when Dru gets up early and I roll over for an additional hour or two of sleep. It doesn't squeak "on demand" when you jump or move a lot since we tried testing it last night. It only happens when we are sleeping and move even an inch. I can't handle it anymore, it is driving me insane and I'm ready to kick Dru out for good just so I can get a good night's sleep (in between the 2 hours or so timeframe that I have to pee each and every night). 

Solutions? Home remedies? Any words of advice are welcome! Or else Dru might find himself on an air mattress in Pedro's room for the rest of eternity. 

I've thought about adding 35 lbs (Stan (20) + Molly (15) equals 35lbs give or take) of cat to the mix to see if they even it out, but that presents its own slew of problems that include yelling kitties (Stan) who need attention and petting at 4am. 

I'm SO not ready for sleepless nights just yet - I should have another 7 months left to enjoy my 12+ hours of sleep per night. 

Sometimes you just can't win!

Irrational Fears?

I’m terrified. Yes, I’ll admit it. As long as I have wanted to be a mother I’m now so incredibly scared that I am going to suck at it.

I’m sitting here sobbing; I think that it has just now hit me that this is real. In give or take 7 months I will have another human being solely dependent on ME. I will be responsible for loving, feeding, changing, and ensuring the safety of another person. I’ll admit it; I’m not really the mothering type. When Dru gets sick, I get bitchy. I am not nurse like in any way, shape or form. I want him to get better as soon as possible because I can’t stand him when he is sick (and not because I can’t not look at him in pain, but because it’s annoying to me).

Yes, I basically just admitted that my sick husband annoys me. And when he had his wisdom teeth out last year, I left for a business trip for the weekend…Less than 24 hours after his surgery. I did leave him with a swimsuit top that worked well to keep ice packs in place on his swollen face but that’s about it. I SUCK.

I’m hoping and praying that the mothering instinct just kicks in and that I will be the worlds best mommy and know how to nurture my child. My mom was pretty kick ass at it (and she still is) so hopefully it is just passed down to me or something. And if that fails, at least I know that Dru is pretty damn good at it (if only he had boobs to breastfeed). He always takes care of me, after the many surgeries that I have had since we’ve been married I know that he will take care of me and baby better than anyone. He’s already the world’s best kitty dad EVER! Even though these cute cuddly fat cats know that mom is pregnant and lay on my belly (and bladder) every chance that they get, they still love their dad more than ever. 

It's Not A Lie

Please tell me that it gets better not worse?

Yes, I pee a MILLION times a day. I always was a frequent pee'r (this isn't even a word but go with me here) even before becoming pregnant but now it is like some sort of sick joke. I am constantly thirsty and consume enough water daily to almost be ashamed of, but I can't help it.

Pedro is not that big, I know because I saw him. You can't even tell that there is a baby growing inside me, not visible from the outside. Sometimes it looks like I have a food baby, but that is it. Not a baby bump to be seen. So how is this tiny being causing me to pee every hour? Sometimes every half hour?

I have a feeling that I am in for a long 7 months. And Dru? Well he isn't so excited that I wake up every hour in the middle of the night to urinate. I can't help it, but please tell me that this will get better and not worse because I might have to install a toilet in my bedroom.

Best Day Ever

Pedro (this is what we will refer to the baby as until he/she makes its debut into the world) is a lot like his mom and dad -- stubborn.

We had our 2nd Dr. appt today and we were thinking that we were just going to get to hear the heartbeat via hand held thingie that they place on my tummy, but it turns out that Pedro is pretty stubborn and likes to move about a lot so we got an unexpected ultrasound. The little guy was moving all over the place and I'm pretty sure that he waved at us, and has a great strong heartbeat.

Best Valentine's day EVER!

But in less baby related news, my book club read a book recently that involved making a life list. I thought that it would be fun to have a list of 20 things I would like to do before I die and decided that I might as well share it, and this is as good of place than any to document my list.

20 Things to Do Before I Die

1. Be a Mom
2. SkyDive
3. Bungee Jump
4. Swim with the Dolphins
5. Go back to Tahiti
6. Eat Sushi in Japan
7. Travel Sweden with Dru and my children
8. Catch a BIG fish (and have Dru be there to witness this)
9. Fluently speak Swedish (again)
10. Ride a train through Europe
11. Have a fancy ball gown and somewhere to wear it
12. Be in a movie (an extra is fine)
13. Bobsled
14. Hike a really tall mountain
15. See the grand canyon
16. Win money (more than $2000) in Vegas
17. Party with my girlfriends on a houseboat when we are 40
18. Finish my Masters degree
19. Throw the first pitch at a major league baseball game
20. Own a patio boat and have the summers to enjoy it